All I am
by Ansujali
Summary: Oneshot. Pure fluff. Bring out the Kleenex and enjoy.


**A/N: Oneshot, pure fluff, not connected to any of my or anyone else's story, set in modern times. Just a scene that popped into my head and wouldn't leave again. Reading the brilliant "TRANSLATIONS" story by Sacred Geometry (shameless ad, me being an avid fan of the story which gets waaaay too little attention! **** ) always gets me on Cloud No9 with all its tension, dooming destiny and the most intriguing Darcy characterization I have ever seen. And I needed to vent those feelings. Sorry :-P**

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**All I am**

At the banister of the deck, overlooking Santa Monica Beach, he approaches and snuggles up to her from behind. She loves the warmth and comfortable feeling of his chest pressing into her back and she tilts her head back so that it comes to lie against him. He rests his chin on her shoulder and releases a heavy sigh. She smiles.

"A penny for your thoughts." There is a quiet amusement in her voice.

She can feel him than rather see him break into a warm smile, followed by a short shake of the head, his chin never giving up its connection to her shoulder, though. She raises a curved eyebrow in reply and he grins inwardly, knowing she will not let it go so easily.

"Come on," she insists playfully, "it's not a secret or a matter of national security which you can't tell me."

"No, but it's a little ridiculous."

"Oh, now you _have_ to tell me," she chuckles softly. Although pushing him a little to spill his thoughts, it did not escape her notice that his words – though equally playful to hers – carried a certain seriousness, maybe even a hint of insecurity. As if he truly believed in some dooming ridicule and rather not tell, really. As she cannot see his face, there's no way to tell from his expression which she had learnt to read so well.

"Your thoughts are never ridiculous," she tries to assure him lovingly, giving his embracing arms a reaffirming squeeze.

"These are. I feel like a Neaderthal," he murmurs.

She cranes her neck to see his face and detects that the smile has left his features and that there's indeed seriousness that dances across his face. And something else she cannot name. _Pride_? _Determination_? _Love_? But none of the words seem a fitting description. Whatever it is, it is not playfulness and she realizes she should cease her teasing.

"Tell me what you think. I will understand. You know I will," she urges him on, gently, assuringly again. Whispering into his ear, making his hairs in his neck stand on end.

He closes his eyes and inhales slowly, deeply and from behind she can feel his torso widening, expanding, growing in the proess, all the while his arms seem to stretch and encompass her body even more fully. His right hand down to her abdomen, his left over her shoulder across her chest down to her waist. She feels as if he wraps her within him, cocooning her in their little world of warmth, love, security and utter closeness of bodies, minds and souls.

He starts hesitantly, his voice a mere whisper as if he didn't trust it yet to set those thoughts and feelings free for her to hear and when he starts eventually, he whispers, raw emotion oozing from his words.

"I feel _ridiculously_ protective of you – of you _both_… I feel like I'm 10 feet tall. Like I was strong enough to rule the world. Like I _do_ rule the world. Ours anyway. I crave to rule it so I can make sure nothing happens to you. Because I would not survive if it did."

While his hold of her strengthens, he slightly turns his head and buries his face in the crook of her neck near her pulse point and showers the spot with featherlight kisses. She is not sure if his lips really touch her over-sensitive skin or if it's just his breath that caresses it while he whispers, but she shivers from the sensation nonetheless. All of her body is humming with sensuality as his barely audible voice rumbles on, right through her skin, rolling along her bones. Vibrating deeply within her.

"I feel strong. Invincible. Potent. And _possessive_. And it is a good feeling. So manly - primal - but _good_. I totally love it. It makes me feel so alive. Because you are _mine_. Completely. Irrevocably. Mine to have, mine to love, mine to protect. _Mine_. _Mine in every way_."

His large hand over her still small and yet visibly curved belly presses against her gently, holds her, cupping it from below. He exhales.

"And yet.. I feel so vulnerable. Never have I felt more vulnerable than now. Exposed. Dependant. Ever since I've met you I had this feeling as if my heart, my soul was no longer mine, no longer in my body but walking around outside of it… because you had kidnapped them both and now carry them around with you. Within you…. But to my surprise I revel in this weakness which is also my greatest strength and source of power that I could ever have... And now you gave me the honor to sire this child. _Our_ child. To create this life that is you and me. Purely out of the love and passion we share. And all these thoughts and feelings have magnified and gone through the roof, driving me completely mad with chaotic happiness and joy.

"All I am, all I feel, all I think, all I have – everything that is me has now made its home in you. In your beautiful soul and your compassionate heart. And in this glorious belly of yours which is nurturing our child. Our son. Our daughter.

"So, when I haven't seen you for hours and you finally come home and I see you… it just hits me. I feel like dropping to my knees and crying because each time you are such a sight to behold – with your sparkling eyes, your wonderful laughter and that glowing belly – you are the holder of three hearts, the protector of my soul and the ruler of my world. In these moments I no longer know where I end and where you begin… and I find that I don't care. I don't because I realize this means that we are as close as close can be and I cannot even begin to express with words what that means to me."

He falls silent but does not give up his strong, cocooning embrace, holding her as close to him as possible. When he feels her shoulders shake a little, his left hand that had rested on her waist reaches up to her face to turn it to face him, he sees tears streaming down her cheeks and her lower lip quivers with silent but overflowing emotion.

The warm smile returns to his face and he lovingly studies her beautiful face that holds those eyes of hers which had been his undoing from the first day they had met. His head comes down and his lips touch hers in an almost chaste kiss, before his eyes lock with hers again.

"All that – and so much more – do I feel when I say '_I love you'_. And it gives me wings to fly."

She is speechless. She has no idea if she is still breathing or if the world is still turning. All she knows is the man embracing her with all his being, on all levels of his existence, looking into her eyes as if there was no tomorrow. Or rather, as if there were a million tomorrows, all of which she desperately prays she can start with looking into his eyes like this.

"Definitely not ridiculous," she whispers as her hands move to cover his over her rounding belly.

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**A/N: *sigh* :-)**


End file.
